Stimulus "pie"

We all know that pies are good, and many would argue that a bit economic stimulus is good. What follows, however, is a culinary version of how we think the current American Recovery Act (or whatever it's called these days) came to be. This was made for my perfectly marvellous spouse and I during a recent visit to a friend of ours.

Start by planning to make a fruit cake. Save dried fruit in the wine and liquor left over from parties, much as one might squirrel away plans for things like needed infrastructure improvements.

Realize that you need to make it in a big hurry, and so replace the normal cake part with something that comes together quickly, like a Betty Crocker Spice Cake Mix. The result, while certainly tasty, is not really a fruit cake. Much like the current "stimulus" isn't all that stimulating.

Don't bother greasing the pan or letting the cake set up properly after it's pulled from the oven. Instead, scrape the cake out as crumbs and pile them into a deep dish pie pan, while eating whatever crumbs don't fit. Much like one might have the House try to include everything, while the Senate nibbles it down to size.

Add some instant vanilla pudding to the crumbs, just to sweeten the deal, then go to lunch. If you were in Congress, you might lose track of time and just stay out to lunch . . .

On the way back, don't bother picking up the whipped cream this creation requires. Instead, mix two egg whites and some sugar to make a meringue. Add some sprinkles, and it looks great but isn't really safe to eat, so put it under the broiler until the top is nicely browned. It was tasty, but it wasn't a pie. The "stimulus package" might have some good parts, but it's not a fiscal stimulus.